Passion and Pain

Disappointment and rejection are one of my main obstacles in showing my art. As an artist my creations are an extension of my person. The creative process forces the essence of who I am to be extracted. The work is infused with my life force, with my soul. After nurturing these pieces until they are brought to resolution, a type of cathexis is formed. Emotional attachment makes the paintings more than what they actually are, medium on surface. They become precious to me (if no one else).  When I do muster the courage to proffer my precious treasure for the world to see, I do so with trepidation. On the occasion that I offer my favorite gem to be judged, and it is rejected, I am brought to the place of  brokenness and despondency. Temptation to end the cycle of work, hope and wretchedness is great.

If art is a creative call on my life then how can I turn away from that yearning, driving force I have within? Yet to carry on seems like pretense.

 This is the passion and pain that I live, yearning for acknowledgement and fearing the truth.

note:  After this was posted, the painting in this post was accepted by the International Encaustic Artists, Encaustic Masters: Inspirational Visual Voices, juried exhibition. 

Surface

Most artists have a particular surface they prefer to paint on. Canvas, in cotton, linen or a variety of other fabrics is the most prevalent, but the choices are not limited to these. All manner of board, paper, and panel, make it confusing for the novice, and exciting for the expert. For those of us somewhere in between, we experiment, until we settle on one, (or a few) we are most comfortable with, and best suit our method, and subject.
We have an obligation to our patrons, to ensure our work is archival, and will stand the test of time, hence our choices must be appropriate.
My personal favorite is Ampersand Deep Cradled Gesso Board (with two inch edges), for oil paint, and Arches 140 lb, hot press, water color paper, for drawing, and any water media. Both of these surfaces have silky, smooth, finishes, I like to glide my hand over, before getting down to business. They lend themselves well to my favorite techniques, and subject (water). When I decide to utilize canvas, I find myself sanding, reworking, and polishing, until I have a surface, on which the paint flows and glides (much like my favored subject). It takes no little effort to achieve my purpose. Finally, I am ready to make my painting.
I believe our Heavenly Father handles us in the same manner. For each one of us, He has a particular surface, He prefers. He uses our life experiences, our problems, difficulties, complications, and obstacles, to to rework the "surface", of our hearts. Many times it takes quite a bit of effort, to make us into something smooth enough, to reflect His glory. We frequently have trouble remembering, it's not Him placing misfortune in our lives, but our choices, that bring them to us. Fortunately, He is able to see beyond our "issues", and use them to prime us, for our purpose. Thereafter, we are prepared, to become His work of art.

  Straighten the curves, and smooth out the rough places.
 5 Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed 
Isaiah 4:4b,5a NLT

Restoration

  At the age of 33 I met my father.
It was after the death of both my adopted parents, that I chose to seek out my biological family. After exhausting every earthly possibility of finding my birth family, I finally gave the job to my heavenly one. A group of friends prayed with me, on a Tuesday evening, that I would be reunited with my biologicals. On Friday evening my phone rang. It was my biological brother! He had been given the assignment of looking for me, by my father.  In just three days the power of prayer accomplished what three years of my own labor could not.
 During the next four years I would not only meet my father but several of my siblings. (I am one of seven!) At our initial encounter, Poppa tried to apologize and explain why he gave me up. There was no need for it. In my heart I knew that God had a purpose and plan, for the directions, on the road map of my life. For me, our new relationship was a gift to treasure, with no worries about the past. Our relationship grew and I believe he truly loved me and did everything he could to express that love to me.
 It was during that time that something else wondrous happened. Poppa was an artist, living and working in Southern California. He ran a gallery in Los Angeles, called Goldfield Galleries. Not only was Poppa a brilliant artist, he was also one of the foremost restoration artists in the country. People brought him pieces from all over, to have restored. One of those pieces was in really pitiful condition. The client that brought it to Poppa did not even want to pay the $1500 cost of having it restored. He offered the painting to Poppa for $1500, saying, "If you think it is worth it, I'll sell it to you." At that time Poppa did not even have the money to purchase the piece. He borrowed $750 from his business partner and paid the rest.
 As the process of proper restoration began, Poppa realized there was actually another painting under the one he was restoring. When his work was complete, a stunning jewel was revealed. Ballerinas! Degas was the first word that came to mind. Poppa sent the painting to the Metropolitan Museum, in New York, for authentication. Assuring him that it was indeed a Degas, the Met promptly purchased the work from Poppa for 1.5million dollars.
 During the next few years Poppa spent almost all of his profit from that sale.... Some of it on me. I would receive several lovely treasures in the mail from him. A beautiful antique vase... A tiny bronze statue. He also brought me to California to spend precious time with him.
Poppa's health began to decline and he died in 1997, of complications from lung cancer.  In total I had five years to get to know him. During that time he came to know our Heavenly Father as I do. Poppa accepted Jesus before he went to be with Him. I was blessed to be a part of that  'restoration'. My earthly father to my Heavenly One.

In his kindness God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 1Peter 5:10

Lift the Veil

Between 1980 and 1999 a prodigious endeavor went into the restoration of Michelangelo's frescoes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. The restoration team was comprised of Gianluigi Colalucci, Maurizio Rossi, Piergiorgio Bonetti,and others. They followed the strictest guidelines found in the Rules for restoration of works of art as established in 1978 by Carlo Pietrangeli, director of the Vatican's Laboratory for the Restoration of Pictures. The restoration had a profound effect on art lovers and historians, as colors and details that had not been seen for centuries were revealed. It was as if a veil had been lifted from the frescoes revealing their true resplendence.
Yet many art historians have been extremely critical of the restoration. Disagreements about this have been vociferous and are unresolved. Really, no one actually knows exactly how the frescoes were painted, or how they originally looked.
Even in the midst of controversy, monumental, inspirational, moving, stunning and beautiful are still adjectives used to describe the frescoes.

On occasion, we have a spiritual veil lifted from our vision. People, places and circumstances will be revealed to us in stunning, brilliance where once they were obscured. We are able to open our hearts and minds to ideas, truths and blessings that we just couldn't see before. There is a profound effect. While we will have many critics, through this revelation of the Holy Spirit, we feel renewed and restored, with a fresh excitement and a feeling of unlimited possibility.

2 Corinthians 3:14 But the people's minds were hardened, and even to this day whenever the old covenant is being read, a veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ. 2 Corinthians 3:18 And all of us have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more.

Illusion

Trompe-l'oiel incorporates elaborate techniques artists use to create an illusion of reality. It means literally to "trick the eye".

Photographers have been manipulating images for decades. With contemporary technology they are only limited to what their minds can conceive. Deception has skyrocketed because of the availability of tools to make nothing into something. Great beauty as well as the reprehensible are altered beyond recognition.
How can we know what is reality?
Sincere, genuine, unaffected, truth.
Looking beyond the facade is sometimes impossible.
Sometimes we do get a glimpse, a tiny peek and we adjust our thoughts.
On the rarest of occasions our paradigm is altered when we realize that what we always believed was authentic is actually a brilliant illusion.
Disbelief, anger, bitterness, forgiveness, grace, mercy.
We choose our path to resolution.
Luke 7:47

Something Good

Something good is going to happen to me.



Words of wisdom are sometimes most facile.
Acting upon them creates, energy and will cause them to come into being.
When I found this stunning field of sunflowers I had merely spoken the words and I was unknowingly led to the location of this glorious panorama.
Something good happened.
A tiny step of faith produced a bountiful harvest of delight.
Speak, and give life to the desires of your heart.

You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy. John 16:24

Living Water

Living- alive, continuing in existence, responsive, vital

Water- the basis of fluids of living organisms



"He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”
John 7:38


And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. Revelation 22:1



Water is both physical and spiritual.
In the physical it is the tasteless, odorless, almost colorless liquid made up of two parts of hydrogen and one of oxygen. Life sustaining and refreshing...
Spiritually, water in the Bible references birth, the word of God, purification of the Christian and spiritual life. It is everlasting life we enjoy now in Christ.